Reflections

This year was filled with lots of emotions, taking big steps and how to take care of yourself.

January: Started our local Silent Book Club back up for it’s third year, was asked to be on the radio to promote it and talk about libraries (and the upcoming book festival), was interviewed and written about online and locally. My heart was full.

February: Started a new job at a different library and worried I’d fall back into my same routine taking on more than I could handle but was initially elated to be at a new library.

March: After almost seven years together, D and I started fighting a lot.

April: Considered the idea of closing Sit and Stay Awhile.

May: D and I talked about moving in with each other and we finally made up.

June: In the midst of a crazy schedule of Summer Reading activities at the library, I was feeling less and less interested in work. Realized I needed to take better care of myself. I started reading (and sleeping) --- a lot.

July: Decided I was sick of my own bullshit. Took a few extended trips to the coast and one long stay-cation. I slept, tried to learn meditation and eventually I felt a little better.

August: Realized how burn out I actually was. Considered leaving libraries all together and try something completely different. I forced myself to walk around the neighborhood. Drank water and started waking up at 5 AM.

September: Moved in with D. Focused on my thoughts, adopted ‘slow living’ habits and spent less time on my phone. I let myself be bored, I drank my water and I went to bed early.

October: Went to a few work related events and conferences, had a blast and realized how much I love my job. Felt invigorated and dove right back into work.

November: Left children services (I had been working in children services for eight years) for teen services and realized teens are a whole different ballpark. But I love my library teens.

December: A calendar full of dinner dates with family and friends. Time spent with my nephew. Drank lots wine. Worried about work stuff. Was kind to myself and realized I was a completely different person than I was at the beginning of the year.

2019 taught me I can handle way more than I ever thought I could. I grasped how hard life is and that is not going to get easier.

Now that I’m in my 30s I learned that self care is not just a fad but actually really important! I learned a lot about myself and that the dialogue you have with yourself is EVERYTHING.  

Celebrate the small wins.