Take a Break

My library’s summer program has officially ended and I’m exhausted to say the least. Last week, I had one of the worst headaches I can remember ever having, I couldn’t do anything except to just be with myself. No lights, no books or television, and minimal talking. I’m not kidding I seemed to be sensitive to just about everything around me. I spent about five hours alone (and almost in complete darkness) - in the bath with no lights, practicing meditative and breathing exercises, and just moving around my bedroom at a glacial pace, organizing and putting stuff away.

At first, I was like I cannot do this (mind you, my emotional state and stress levels have been all over the place for the past six months, but more on that later.) My mind won’t shut up and I have to be alone with myself, clearly I have a problem with boredom. It took about an hour for me to calm down and be ok with not doing anything. Over the course of the night, I realized I was actually present with myself, my mind was at ease, and my awareness of everything was extremely heightened, I hadn’t felt that in such a long time.

I’ll admit, my work/life balance is horrible and my auto-pilot for so long has been “hurry, hurry, hurry.” I live by my planner, it’s packed full of meetings, phone calls, interviews, appointments, etc. This past year has been particularly stressful, with wedding planning and being in a job that is wearing me thin (my work schedule is actually the worst), I’m very seldom alone with myself and I’m like really tired.

Being alone in the dark and enjoying the silence of my bedroom felt so therapeutic and clearly something I need to do more often. Here’s to less health issues, actually listening to my body, being more present and being ok with boredom.